The Warrior Princess

It all began one night in April when I was sitting in a movie theater. This was no ordinary theater because instead of one screen there were two. The screen on the left was the first to reveal its images to me. The screen started out dark and small but then slowly the image began to appear. The screen and image looked fuzzy, distorted and out of focus. It wasn’t clear or visible, making it difficult to see. With some effort I began to see a sad woman on the screen. The image was in different shades of blacks and grays with some occasional white mixed in.  The woman looked like she’d been through hell and back and the turmoil she’d endured was oozing off the screen. Just looking at her made me feel tired, afraid and sad for her. It was almost as if she didn’t care anymore and was ready to end it all. Her will to continue had given out and she was begging for someone to end it all. The look in her eyes were of sadness and grief and it soon became too much to bear. The image of her began to fade and as she was consumed by the darkness I prayed that she’d be okay. 

As soon as the screen on the left disappeared the screen on the right began to appear. At first it started out small with a tiny white light at the center of the screen but just like fire that touches air it spread and illuminated the entire screen. The light was so vibrant that I immediately knew it would be clear and visible for all to see. The image before me was detailed and bright that it took my eyes a while to adjust to see everything on the screen. As I was about to focus on the details an image of a woman began to appear. She stood tall, with long brown hair and deep, captivating brown eyes full of love. She smiled from ear to ear and you could sense and feel love and genuine care. Her smile brightened up the room and being within her presence made you feel welcomed and a sense of being at home. She was far more beautiful than anyone I had ever seen or known. She wore a crown above her head and while you understood her to have power you knew she never used it to get ahead. She wore a beautiful white and gold gown made of lace that fit her body perfectly, capturing every curve and every muscle. The gown itself made her look angelic, delicate and fragile but within the background you could see her armor, shield and sword. Although she looked feminine she was in no way weak. She was strong and capable of battling her own obstacles and wasn’t afraid of getting down and dirty with the boys. She looked like royalty but she had the power and strength of a great warrior. She was not afraid of anything and as I sat in my seat within the theater I couldn’t help but gaze at her image up on the screen. Her image and essence brought tears to my eyes and as I looked at both screens I soon began to realize the difference and meaning behind each screen. 

The image and screen on the left represented how I viewed myself or the old me and the image and screen on the right represented how others viewed me or the new me. The images were total opposites and contrasts of one another. The image on the left felt familiar and more within my comfort zone, while the image on the right made me fearful. The first thought that entered my mind when looking at the image on the right made me think, “This can’t be right.” As I sat in silence staring at the screen the woman within the screen beckoned me to join her. As I slowly stood up and made my way to the front of the theater . As I stood in front of the screen I knew that I wanted to get to know her. I allowed myself the opportunity to just try so I reached out my hand to touch the screen. As I reached out and touched the screen I saw my hand go through and I was pulled deep within the image. As I looked around I found myself within the image on the screen. Being in that space with this glorious, magnificent woman was amazing. It felt so warm and inviting that I couldn’t help but be envious of this woman who had it all. She had beauty, power, strength, a sense of self-worth, a sense of belonging and above all else she was loved, and cared for and happy. She stood in silence in front of me and when our eyes locked she smiled. I was expecting her to be angry for invading her space but before I could apologize she spoke. 

“I am a part of you that has been hiding for a very long time. It is time to set me free. I knew my time would come when the right people showed up in your life.” 

She immediately wanted to hug me but I was to shocked so I stopped her. It was hard for me to understand what she had just said as I knew there was no way this powerful woman could be a part of me. Again she stood in silence and smiled at me and said, 

“They all love you and because of their love and nurturing I have been set free. All you have to do is accept me.” 

I was in shock and allowed the tears to flow. She approached me once more and this time I allowed her to embrace me. As I felt her touch I felt loved, warm and at peace. I welcomed her warmth and embrace and felt a swelling in my heart. When I opened my eyes I noticed she was gone. As I began looking around I noticed I was now wearing her soft, flowing, white-gold lace gown. As I began to panic I heard a soft whisper within my ear, 

“I am still here but I now reside within you. You are me and I am you. Who you were is no longer who you are. Who you are is who you will be. You are the Warrior Princess.”

We all have moments in life that mold us into who we are meant to be. Sometimes those moments are people who show up at our door, or sometimes they are events and situations. No matter where you are in life, remember that who you are isn’t absolute. Who you are meant to be will always show up and that my friends is when your true potential, worth and growth begins. Warrior Princess

Art by: Eve Ventrue

 


Darkness & Light 

Life is full of lessons. Lessons on how to grow, how to be, how to love and how to live but do we listen? Listening can be hard, especially when we are in the middle of that lesson. Sometimes it’s easier to complain about our circumstances or situations than to look at the lesson and move on. There is one lesson I’ve struggled with and it has been following me around for years. I’ve sort of labeled it my life’s theme work but despite each obstacle, encounter or situation  I never truly grasped the entire lesson. Was I blind to its teachings or was I choosing to be blind? 

Sometimes asking ourselves those hard questions is something we would rather avoid because hearing the truth is so much different from knowing the truth. You see when you hear the truth it ignites your inner desire to expand and grow. Sometimes when you hear the truth it hurts but once you’ve heard it, something clicks. Knowing the truth is different in the aspect that a part of you knows but it’s easy to dismiss. In my case it was so much easier to ignore until I heard it and reality set in. 

My reality was death. A slow, miserable death full of pain, sadness and mental torture. For years I blamed others for causing me pain, but I was the one that kept inflicting the pain. I played victim to my circumstances and situations but I was the abuser in every situation. I was the reason for my pain. I was the reason for my sadness. Knowing this was easy but hearing it was hard. It was hard because it was the truth and a cold, bitter hard truth at that. The truth was I didn’t and couldn’t love myself enough to save myself from my own self-inflicted pain. The bitter truth was, I was living through the eyes of my past and through those eyes I deserved to be there. 

Knowing this was my darkness and my secret. I thought that I was moving along just fine until one day the truth made itself heard. Hearing it first hand was my light and salvation. It was almost as if the light had switched on and it all made sense. We can’t change the situations or circumstances in our life but we can choose to see it through darkness or light. You cannot have one without the other. You need darkness in order to experience the light and you need light in order to understand the darkness. Both are a part of the lesson at hand and both teaching you something in the end. Knowing the darkness is part of the journey but once you hear the light that is when your journey truly begins. 

-Nameste-


The Road

On occasion I find my mind wandering off in a distant horizon, focusing on something far beyond my reach. As an intuitive, I am one who can feel, see, hear and know things that I would normally not know. The funny thing is I can often times only do that for others. The vision to see the obstacles in my life are often times difficult and are usually only known when I’m knee deep in mud. This is the life of an intuitive, a life of many experiences, life lessons and roads. For many years I tried to walk away from my gift, accepting it was not an option. To accept the gift meant a life of service and a life of so many lessons, experiences and roads that needed to be traveled. 

When this road presented itself to me it scared me out of my mind and my gut instinct was to run as fast as I could in another direction. You see, not everyone welcomes the gift or the road they are on. They struggle and fight it with all of their might but yet it still continues and often times never ends. Some accept the gift and accept it willingly and travel down the road allowing it to mold them into who they are meant to be. Whether you accept it or not you still get the lessons, experiences and journey like everyone else just in a different way. Now that I’ve accepted my gift and have decided to travel down this road I’ve been given the task of helping others on their road. 

Now that I’m on my road I realize that there was a purpose for the struggle. God had a plan, and my willingness to fight the road allowed me the privilege of experiencing a journey that would one day help someone else. Maybe that someone else is YOU! Many of us struggle to accept things in our life that we often times don’t understand. We only see the smaller pieces in front of us, almost as if we have blinders on. This lack of vision makes us question our motives, desires and instincts. Making us lose trust and confidence in our own judgement of where we are going on this road called life. 

As soon as I traveled down my road I noticed the struggle right away. It made me question my own gift and I lost the confidence and trust in myself. Because of this I walked away from the gift and the road a second time only to be catapulted back into the road some time later. While I was off the road my gift became quiet and still. In the silence I was able to see and hear things I never thought possible. I was able to understand the greater purpose behind it all and when it finally clicked I resumed my travels down the road. I realized that the reason I walked away from it all was because of the exhaustion I felt in having to travel down a road into the unknown. Not knowing where I was going or where the road was leading me shook me to the core.

No matter what I felt my experiences and lessons always brought me back to the road. Again I accepted the road and this time made a promise to stay within it’s path and experience it all as if it were the only road. The light that once shone bright in my heart had been re-kindled once more. I can’t explain the feeling I get when I am on my road but I know in my heart that what is next for me on my journey is something that will become legend. The same is true for all of you. There is no right or wrong way, there is just a road. A road that you must travel on to get you to the next road and so forth. While you have no idea what will be on that road or where it will lead you, a part of you knows you must follow it so you take it without question. 

Many of us look for a road map in hopes that it will point out the dangers that lay ahead. Sometimes we get frustrated and concerned that we are lost and can’t find our way even though we have no idea where we are headed. We don’t need a map to find our way, nor do we need it to find where we are. We are because we are and no matter where that road leads you, you know in your heart that you are meant to be in the exact place you are. Your road map lives within you, always leading and pushing you in the direction you are meant to be in. There are experiences and lessons on that road that will help you become the person you are meant to be. Yes, the road will be dangerous, confusing and sometimes hard but the map always points you in the right direction. In moments when you feel lost it only feels that way because you’re fighting the road and it’s lessons. The map within you always redirects you because you’ve never left the road. 

If you knew what was ahead for you on that road would still take the same path? If you knew what was in store for you at the end of the road would you still makes the same choices? Many of us would stop and rethink things but then we wouldn’t get the experiences or lessons we needed while on the road. When I stopped trying to navigate my way through life, or in this case when I stopped trying to control it I found so much more beauty, happiness and freedom in the walk of that single road. No one else can navigate you on that road, you just have to allow it to move you in the direction you’re meant to go and follow the road. The choices of taking the left or the right fork is yours to make but it doesn’t matter. You take the road and accept what comes, learning from what it teaches you and experiencing the journey. No road is the same, as is life. I can’t tell you how to live your life, nor can I make your road easier but I can help guide you by giving you the courage to embrace the unknown. The best advice I have for you is to follow your road and light. Be the master of your own road and enjoy the journey. No matter the choices or the travels on that road they all lead you to the same destination. The only difference is your experiences and lessons will change. Once you’re on that road and the journey begins and the road ends, it takes you on an even bigger road with a greater journey ahead. 

Remember:

All Roads lead to Rome; and Rome my friends is your destiny!

All Roads Lead to Rome

All Roads Lead to Rome