It all began one night in April when I was sitting in a movie theater. This was no ordinary theater because instead of one screen there were two. The screen on the left was the first to reveal its images to me. The screen started out dark and small but then slowly the image began to appear. The screen and image looked fuzzy, distorted and out of focus. It wasn’t clear or visible, making it difficult to see. With some effort I began to see a sad woman on the screen. The image was in different shades of blacks and grays with some occasional white mixed in. The woman looked like she’d been through hell and back and the turmoil she’d endured was oozing off the screen. Just looking at her made me feel tired, afraid and sad for her. It was almost as if she didn’t care anymore and was ready to end it all. Her will to continue had given out and she was begging for someone to end it all. The look in her eyes were of sadness and grief and it soon became too much to bear. The image of her began to fade and as she was consumed by the darkness I prayed that she’d be okay.
As soon as the screen on the left disappeared the screen on the right began to appear. At first it started out small with a tiny white light at the center of the screen but just like fire that touches air it spread and illuminated the entire screen. The light was so vibrant that I immediately knew it would be clear and visible for all to see. The image before me was detailed and bright that it took my eyes a while to adjust to see everything on the screen. As I was about to focus on the details an image of a woman began to appear. She stood tall, with long brown hair and deep, captivating brown eyes full of love. She smiled from ear to ear and you could sense and feel love and genuine care. Her smile brightened up the room and being within her presence made you feel welcomed and a sense of being at home. She was far more beautiful than anyone I had ever seen or known. She wore a crown above her head and while you understood her to have power you knew she never used it to get ahead. She wore a beautiful white and gold gown made of lace that fit her body perfectly, capturing every curve and every muscle. The gown itself made her look angelic, delicate and fragile but within the background you could see her armor, shield and sword. Although she looked feminine she was in no way weak. She was strong and capable of battling her own obstacles and wasn’t afraid of getting down and dirty with the boys. She looked like royalty but she had the power and strength of a great warrior. She was not afraid of anything and as I sat in my seat within the theater I couldn’t help but gaze at her image up on the screen. Her image and essence brought tears to my eyes and as I looked at both screens I soon began to realize the difference and meaning behind each screen.
The image and screen on the left represented how I viewed myself or the old me and the image and screen on the right represented how others viewed me or the new me. The images were total opposites and contrasts of one another. The image on the left felt familiar and more within my comfort zone, while the image on the right made me fearful. The first thought that entered my mind when looking at the image on the right made me think, “This can’t be right.” As I sat in silence staring at the screen the woman within the screen beckoned me to join her. As I slowly stood up and made my way to the front of the theater . As I stood in front of the screen I knew that I wanted to get to know her. I allowed myself the opportunity to just try so I reached out my hand to touch the screen. As I reached out and touched the screen I saw my hand go through and I was pulled deep within the image. As I looked around I found myself within the image on the screen. Being in that space with this glorious, magnificent woman was amazing. It felt so warm and inviting that I couldn’t help but be envious of this woman who had it all. She had beauty, power, strength, a sense of self-worth, a sense of belonging and above all else she was loved, and cared for and happy. She stood in silence in front of me and when our eyes locked she smiled. I was expecting her to be angry for invading her space but before I could apologize she spoke.
“I am a part of you that has been hiding for a very long time. It is time to set me free. I knew my time would come when the right people showed up in your life.”
She immediately wanted to hug me but I was to shocked so I stopped her. It was hard for me to understand what she had just said as I knew there was no way this powerful woman could be a part of me. Again she stood in silence and smiled at me and said,
“They all love you and because of their love and nurturing I have been set free. All you have to do is accept me.”
I was in shock and allowed the tears to flow. She approached me once more and this time I allowed her to embrace me. As I felt her touch I felt loved, warm and at peace. I welcomed her warmth and embrace and felt a swelling in my heart. When I opened my eyes I noticed she was gone. As I began looking around I noticed I was now wearing her soft, flowing, white-gold lace gown. As I began to panic I heard a soft whisper within my ear,
“I am still here but I now reside within you. You are me and I am you. Who you were is no longer who you are. Who you are is who you will be. You are the Warrior Princess.”
We all have moments in life that mold us into who we are meant to be. Sometimes those moments are people who show up at our door, or sometimes they are events and situations. No matter where you are in life, remember that who you are isn’t absolute. Who you are meant to be will always show up and that my friends is when your true potential, worth and growth begins.
Art by: Eve Ventrue